Major Technological Breakthrough

We are proud to introduce the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no headphones, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, BOOK can be used anywhere—even sitting in an armchair by the fire—yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a Kindle file or a flash drive.

Here’s how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of (recyclable) paper called Pages, each capable of holding thousands of bits of information.

The Pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs.

Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKs with more information simply use more Pages.

Each Page is scanned optically, injecting the information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next Page.

BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

BOOK never crashes or requires buffering, nor can it be infected with viruses, though like other display devices it can become unusable if dropped overboard. The “browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any Page and move forward or backward as you wish.

Many BOOKs come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session—even if it has been closed.  BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarks can be used in a single BOOK, if the user wants to store numerous views at once.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave.

BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Seagulls At Sunset - Sarasota, Florida

History Of The World

The following are direct quotes from K-12 student’s essays, submitted by teachers throughout the U.S.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple. A snake was present at the time. God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off.

Noah built an ark, which the animals came on to in pears. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies, and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the Genitals. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Bibical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. They invented three kinds of columns: Corinthian, ironic, and dorc. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice, so they killed him with an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. Later, St. John, the Blacksmith, capsized him.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was by profession a taximan. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Then came the Middle Ages when King Alfred conquered the Dames. He had many brave knights who road on prancing horses and beautiful women. Joan of Arc was canonized by Bernard Shaw, and victims of the blue-bonnet plaque grew boobs on their necks. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

In medieval times people were alliterate. During this time, people put on morality plays about ghosts, goblins, virgins, and other mythical creatures.

The Renaissance was an age in which Martin Luther was nailed to the church door for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull.

It was painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance, which was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible, and another important invention was the circulation of the blood. Later, Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

Then came the enlightenment. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in autumn, when the apples are falling off trees.

John Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handle. Handle was half German, half Italian, and half English.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and Inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and began reproducing by machine.

The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers. Then came the First World War, which ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

Then Again #9

The Brits Love Their Pets

According to a recent study of 2,000 British cat and dog owners, more than half prefer spending time with their pets over spending time with other humans. Why? Because they don’t nag, never talk back and are always in a good mood. Not only that, but more than a third prefer their pets to their partners, saying their pet is a better listener, while 45-percent like the fact they are never judged or questioned by their cat or dog. In addition, a surprising 29-percent say their four-legged friend is better at snuggling, and 44-percent would rather cuddle up with them than they would with their better half.

“Whilst some of the findings of this research are on the surface rather surprising, what they actually demonstrate is just how much we Brits love our pets and why they’re such an important part of our families,” said Hannah Edwards, Senior Marketing Manager for Freshpet, which carried out the research using OnePoll.com. “Whether that means using our four-legged friends as a sounding board for our problems, cuddling up with them on the sofa in a quiet moment, or simply spending quality time with them and enjoying their unconditional love, it’s clear that our beloved pets mean the world to us ... even more at times than our life partners. Shockingly, when faced with the decision to choose a pet or a partner, 14-percent would rather spend the rest of their life with their pet.”

And if you think my photo-composited image above is a joke, you should know that once, on a visit to The Gambia in West Africa, the Queen was actually given a crocodile as a pet for Prince Andrew.

On Writing - Creative Loafing

Writers—especially fiction writers—are constantly alert to story possibilities and character ideas, whether at a baseball game, a restaurant, or riding on a rollercoaster. Often, we find ourselves contemplating stories at seemingly inappropriate times, such as when we’re entertaining guests, or watching a school play. A wandering mind is one of the hazards of creative thinking, and even though it is a common trait among serious writers, we sometimes have to suffer through the misconceptions of those around us.

When your spouse or significant other sees you sitting on the front steps, staring into space, it’s only natural for them to assume you are loafing. Most non-writers don’t understand that much of the writing process goes on silently, inside the mind, before your fingers ever touch a pen or a keyboard. It’s a good idea to explain this to those you live with, so you don’t end up feeling guilty every time your brain takes a time out from the world around you.

Though I don’t subscribe to the old adage that says you must set aside a certain time each day to do nothing but write, I do believe that writing something every day is healthy for a writer. This could be an entry in your journal or diary, some personal correspondence, or maybe a poem. After not writing for more than a couple of days, it’s hard to get the literary engine warmed up again.

Vacations are a good example. This is supposed to be a time when you leave your work behind and relax. That works fine if you are leaving behind a regular job, but writing puts you in the category of "artist," and most artists cannot actually leave their art behind when they go on a vacation, especially when the surroundings are creatively stimulating, as are most vacation spots.

A guitarist for example, would probably not leave his or her instrument behind when going to the mountains, and a painter would most likely take a sketchpad along when vacationing at the coast. Writers are no different. That’s why you should always carry a note pad, or some kind of recording device (your smart phone probably has a recording feature) in order to write down or record ideas, scenes, descriptions of characters you meet, and interesting snippets of conversation.

In many cases these random scribblings or recordings are never used. However, they act to keep the juices flowing at a low ebb, and make it easier to begin writing again once the vacation is over. This is not to say that you should never attempt to clear your mind of all things related to your writing career, but leisure, quiet, and soft ocean breezes are simply not conducive to doing this. Deliberate loafing invariably turns into "creative loafing," simply because it leaves the mind free to explore.

I’ve found that the best way to relax without thinking about writing is to involve yourself in activities that demand so much thought and/or physical exertion you have no choice but to give them your full attention. Such activities differ for each person, but might include things like hobbies that require concentration, good films, or competitive sports (except, perhaps, golf). Basically, anything that does not take on a monotonous flavor, like riding a bicycle, walking through the woods, swimming, or listening to familiar music.

Poetry and personal correspondence are also things that can take your mind off work. Though they are forms of writing, I think of them as the dessert portions of my career. Though I’ve written hundreds of poems, I’ve never tried to sell one, nor do I plan to try (I once entered a poetry contest, and the result convinced me that I wasn’t a poet). But writing poetry does allow me a freedom of style and content I do not normally have. The same freedom applies to personal correspondence. Not having to adhere to anyone’s rules provides a welcome relief from my normal routine. It is somewhat like the classical guitarist playing a little folk music at a campfire sing-along—not as taxing as a regular performance, but creatively stimulating and pleasant.

It is important to draw a balance between family, social life, and career. There are dozens of stories about writers whose obsession with work destroyed their most intimate relationships. Because a writer is free to work anytime, many are driven to work all the time, and this is no healthier than incessant loafing. The "workaholic" syndrome is not exclusive to corporate executives; writers, are just as susceptible to the pitfalls of overwork.

However you choose to relax, make sure you find some time every day to do so. Not only will it help clear the cobwebs from your mind, it will help keep you healthy. Too much work, as we all now know, can lead to several forms of stress-related illness and, though it used to be fashionable for writers to die young, early death (at least for me) has gone out of style.

Today's Word: Polymath

Some years ago, during a lengthy and somewhat inebriated conversation with a lovely young bartender, I was asked how I knew so much about so many different things. I must have been inadvertently trying to impress this young lady (booze sometimes has that effect on the connection between my brain and my mouth) because the truth is, I know a little about a lot of stuff, but not a lot about anything. When I realized this faux pas, I quickly regrouped and admitted that, out of financial necessity, I had worked at dozens of different jobs during my life, gleaning a tiny bit of experience and knowledge from each one. She gave me a skeptical smile, then politely asked me to list those jobs. I told her I could not possibly do so off the top of my head, but that I would comb my memory and get back to her. A few days later, I returned to the bar and handed her the list, which was, to the best of my recollection, an honest recounting of my rather pedestrian history from age five on. As a way of introducing today’s word, I’m going to include that list here.

Boy soprano; tap/ballet dancer; magician/escape artist; guitarist; drummer; bass player; keyboardist; rock band member; rock vocalist; commercial jingle writer; songwriter; record producer; rock concert promoter; lawn maintenance contractor (I mowed lawns); owner of a teenage night club; air conditioner installer; warehouse manager; roofer; day laborer; carpenter; dry wall hanger; house painter; printing press operator; graphic artist; print shop manager; hospital printing dept. manager; retail salesclerk; manufacturer's representative; wood fence builder; competition trap and skeet shooter; dishwasher; sous chef; failed rock star; studio musician; luthier (builder of stringed musical instruments); music store owner; musical instrument repair and restoration specialist; dulcimer builder; failed poet; planter and furniture manufacturer; director of maintenance for public housing; freelance journalist; newsletter publisher; magazine editor; competition pool player; billiard supply dealer; pool cue builder; pool tournament director and tour promoter; failed pool hustler; professional gambler; marketing director for a major pool cue manufacturer; video & TV scriptwriter and director; marketing consultant; stringer for dozens of magazines; website designer; e-commerce business owner; Photoshop artist; wood sculptor; novelist.

After that, whenever I came into the bar, the bartender called me “Polly,” a nickname I thought was demeaning until she explained that it was short for “Polymath.” Far from being a derogatory reference to a parrot, the word from which my new nickname was derived actually constituted quite a complement, though I have to admit a severely exaggerated one. So, today’s word is “Polymath,” and for those few out there who might be unaware of its meaning, here is a brief rundown:

From The Macmillan Dictionary: 

“Polymath derives from the Greek ‘polys’ meaning ‘much,’ and from the root of ‘manthanein,’ a verb which refers to the process of learning. Its first recorded use is from the 1620s.

“Polymath is a noun that refers to a person who is well-informed and learned about a wide variety of topics, as opposed to possessing expertise in one specific field of inquiry. The idea of a polymath is expressed by the term ‘Renaissance man’ (or woman), and great thinkers such as Leonardo da Vinci or Galileo were embodiments of this concept, possessing an intelligence that ranged across a diversity of subjects, including literature, philosophy and mathematics, amongst other disciplines.”

So, basically, a polymath is a person who knows a lot about many subjects. Which, unfortunately, excludes me, because, as I said, I know a little (not a lot) about a many subjects. And, at least from a talent and intellectual standpoint, I couldn't qualify to tie Leonardo's shoe laces (even the one whose last name is DiCaprio).

The Story Behind Then Again

The story behind Then Again evolved from my years as a singer-songwriter, my later career as a science and medical journalist, and my love for Native American culture. From my early teens through my late twenties I worked as a guitarist, keyboard player, and vocalist, playing in several rock bands and as a studio musician. I later became a singer/songwriter, and delved into record producing with limited success. The impetus for writing the novel stemmed from imagining what it would be like to live my life over again while retaining all my accumulated wisdom and experience. In contemplating the changes I might make and their possible ramifications, I soon realized that it would be far more complex and perilous than I had originally thought, and I became fascinated with attempting to extrapolate all the pitfalls and problems I would encounter.

Drawing on my research in theoretical mathematics, quantum physics, and Native American spiritual practices, I decided to try and develop a story through which such a scenario might take place. At first, combining these three disciplines seemed like an impossible task, especially since I’d made up my mind early on not to base the novel on a fantasy premise. The most difficult aspect of the writing process was figuring out how to combine hard science with the more esoteric concepts of spirituality. Fortunately, good friend and fellow author, Burt Kempner, who had conducted extensive studies of Native American culture, became my advisor on the project, and I was eventually able to come up with a plausible, though somewhat metaphysical scenario.

I also must give credit to Fritjof Capra and the film Mindwalk, which was based on his excellent book The Turning Point. It was from that film that I derived much of the material I used in Then Again to explain in lay terms the complexities and confounding nature of quantum mechanics and particle physics.   

Written in three parts (Now, Then, and Then Again), the novel centers on three main characters: Rix Vaughn, an aging, drug-ravaged, alcoholic singer/songwriter nearing the end of a less-than-illustrious career; Heyoka Husereau D'Ailleboust, a world renowned particle physicist and Native American spiritual adept; and Aurélie, a brilliant mathematician who serves as Rix’s spiritual and scientific mentor.

Though a bit offbeat and somewhat humorous in tone, the story is a serious one that incorporates a variety of emotional, psychological and sociopolitical topics, as well as an in-depth examination of what is known as the “butterfly effect”—that is, how everything we do in life has consequences far beyond what most of us could imagine.

On Writing - Rewriting

There are few (very few) professional writers who do not rewrite, either on their own or to comply with an editor’s request. In fact, I personally know of only one—the prolific science-fiction author, Isaac Asimov—who insisted that his submissions be published without editorial changes. For the vast majority of professional writers, rewriting is an integral and important part of the writing process, not only to proofread and correct errors, but to assure that what they have written makes the kind of sense they originally intended.

The rewriting process allows you to correct grammar and punctuation, check word meanings, and spot common mistakes like doubled words (the the – said said, etc.) or repeating the same long word several times in close proximity. Unless you are an expert in English composition (and even sometimes if you are) you will probably find that your early drafts do not always convey your thoughts as clearly as you hoped they would.

If you are not educated in the mechanics of writing, don't despair. Many famous writers were not adept at the fundamentals when they first started out. Most beginning writers depend on "how it sounds," but just because something sounds wrong doesn't mean you will always know how to correct it. In these situations you can turn to reference books or to the Internet. Online dictionaries and Thesauruses abound (my favorite can be found at www.dict.org). For other questions, a simple search for, say, “capitalize [word]” will bring up dozens of answers. Just be sure that the source you chose is one of authority, such as a university website or a respected style book like The Chicago Manual of Style. 

Unfortunately, as with fashion, the “rules” of style for various types of writing change over time. A good example of this can be seen in the use of commas. In days past, commas were used much more frequently than they are today. In some cases I see this as an improvement; in others, not so much. When writing non-fiction, adhering to current trends is probably a good idea, whereas in fiction, it’s more a matter of choice. If you read a lot of fiction you will see that punctuation and grammatical style vary widely, even among best-selling authors. 

I never eliminate commas or other punctuation marks simply for the sake of reducing their number. My rule of thumb is: if punctuation of any kind unnecessarily impedes the flow of the prose, I remove it. On the other hand, if the intended meaning of a phrase becomes difficult for the reader to grasp without the punctuation, I leave it in. When punctuation (or the lack of it) makes me wonder what an author meant to say, I often find myself having to reread a passage, and that can become irritating. Creating beautiful prose is an admirable goal; but when you sacrifice clarity to achieve that beauty, the result can sometimes confuse the reader. My goal has always been to make whatever I write as clear and easy to understand as possible, because the last thing I want is to leave my readers scratching their heads.

Some folks scoff when I tell them I often spend many hours rewriting a single paragraph, but it’s true. Finding the perfect word or phrase to precisely convey my thoughts is of paramount importance to me, particularly when I’m writing about complex subjects or emotions my characters are feeling. 

I would estimate that composing the first drafts of sentences, paragraphs, or chapters takes up only about 10% of the time I spend working on a novel. Another 15% is dedicated to research, character studies, and developing timelines (a reference that helps me remember when and where things happened). The bulk of my time—the remaining 75%—is spent correcting and rewriting. Some of this rewriting is done at the suggestion of half a dozen critical readers and editors, but most of it occurs before I allow anyone to see the manuscript.

To some aspiring writers, rewriting may seem like a chore, a burdensome and boring task that only prolongs the already lengthy process of preparing a piece of writing for publication. But most professional writers will tell you it is an absolutely essential part of the creative process, without which your chances of success will be reduced to near zero.

Art, Craft, and Critics

“Critics spend their occupational hours scrubbing the polish off that which causes the spine to tingle, while spending their leisure time frantically polishing that which is already yellowed by too many applications of cheap wax.” - Michael (Crazy Mike) Scrivner

During a recent debate over a bit of poetry, a dear friend and professional poet made a statement about the difference between craft and art, which I will paraphrase here:

This is the kind of work I classify as folk-type, artless, sincere...of heart not art. It doesn’t have breathtaking imagery, metaphor that opens new doors of perception, language that sings in harmony...none of the elements that characterize original poetry, poetry of power. It’s like the difference between craft and art. I notice immediately if the craftsperson doesn’t have corners neat, seams straight, edges smooth, colors harmonious, etc. With art (regardless of genre) I react primarily to the emotional impact of the piece, and only secondarily to the craft elements. If the artist has sent me a powerful message, and I realize she/he has broken (or bent) the rules of craft, I am even more impressed with her/his artistry. I use the same criteria in looking at writing: if it informs me efficiently, it is evidence of good craft; if it moves me in a unique way, it is art.

My response to these opinions was as follows:

I find it a little elitist to place any sincere, creative effort in a class lower than art, or at least to insinuate that it has less overall value. Being a craftsman myself (in wood, words and other media), I have always been angered by those who criticize anyone’s effort at artistic expression, whether that expression be accomplished with a hammer, a brush, a pencil, a loom, or plant dye on rock faces. Perhaps the best spoof of critical hypocrisy can be found in the movie LA Story, when Steve Martin is describing the emotional impact of a large painting, pointing out all the artistic nuances the artist has incorporated. When the camera finally turns to the picture, it is essentially blank. That satirical skit depicts the way I think of art critics in general, no matter what genre they are criticizing. They become so enamored with their own scholarship and purported depth of knowledge, they cannot help but fill up page after page with interpretations based on their own opinions rather than any kind of prima-facie evidence or factual knowledge.

As for craft being a mode of informing the observer efficiently, and only art being able to move one in a unique way, I also disagree. In fact, it really depends upon the observer or user (Art is in the eye of the beholder). I have been moved in unique ways many times by observing the intricate perfection of the woodwork in a classical guitar, the curve of a piece of handmade furniture, or the perfectly efficient design of a tool, all of which would only be considered examples of fine craftsmanship. On the other hand, I would not hang the Mona Lisa in my house on a bet, nor would I pay more than flea-market prices for a Faberge Egg.

The critics’ answer to this, of course, is that I have not experienced enough, or studied enough, or taken enough art appreciation classes to understand and appreciate fine art. Pardon me, but that’s a load of horseshit. It is only those whose confidence in their own opinions is so weak, who must justify them with long lists of academic accomplishments and/or claimed expertise. To me, critics serve a purpose only if one learns their likes and dislikes and makes a value judgment based on comparing those likes and dislikes to their own. When it comes to being the standard-bearers of true artistic value, they are about as useless as male nipples.

Another question arises in the debate over what is and what is not art: is there art in nature? After all, we scientific types tend to think of nature and evolution as being a set of scientific happenstances; the result of fundamental laws and chance at work. In which case, Mother Nature would be seen as a craftsperson. On the other hand, some of the most beautiful painting, writing, sculpture, etc., comes from trying to faithfully copy or depict the beauty found in nature. And if there is no art in the original, there is little hope of art magically appearing in a copy. In that case, only a few of the abstractionists could be considered real artists.

So what is art and what is craft? Is there some magical artistic line a craftsperson may eventually cross, even though they have never attempted to do anything but perfect their craft? Or is that territory forbidden to those who refuse to study and learn the opinions of critics and the history of true art. Is there ‘accidental’ art? Can a craftsperson occasionally cross over that line without knowing it, simply by chance? Perhaps a backwoods mechanic with a third-grade education and a blowtorch could unknowingly create a piece of metal sculpture that would rival in its ability to move the soul the works of Michelangelo or Van Gogh or DaVinci. I guess that would depend on the soul, but would it ever be recognized as anything more than craftsmanship or ‘folk art?’ All the while ‘real’ artists are shooting paint-filled balloons with guns, swinging on ropes to spread random colors on huge canvases, or painting depictions of Campbell’s Soup cans.

On Writing - The Grouping Syndrome

I have never been much of a joiner, whether it be social, professional, or fraternal organizations. Many beginning writers I’ve known, however, were just the opposite. They attended every conference and joined every writers club or professional guild they could find. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it takes up time that might be better spent writing.

Legend has it that writers are a lonely bunch. And, for the most part, that legend is true. Because our profession requires intense concentration, we often work in isolation, unable to regularly enjoy the comradeship of our peers. It is for this reason, I believe, that many writers become group-oriented when there are groups to join. I once joined a small fiction writers group, and found the experience to be worthwhile. The four of us would gather once every two weeks and read our fiction to the others for criticism. This worked out fine until I found that the obligation to come up with fiction to read every two weeks was interfering with my ability to meet editorial deadlines.

I have since retired from journalism and now write only fiction, so I no longer have to deal with strict deadlines. And, today, were I able to find other local writers as talented and knowledgeable as the ones in that early group, I would jump at the chance to resume those biweekly gatherings. Unfortunately, although I know many who would qualify, they are spread all over the country, making physical meetings impossible.

I still enjoy the company of other writers and editors, but having become somewhat geographically isolated in my old age, those relationships are, of necessity, carried on by phone, e-mail, or through social media. There are a few I communicate with sporadically, plus a small group of critical readers (you know who you are) that provide invaluable commentary and advice on my novels as they evolve. And there is an even smaller group of old writer friends, from whom I occasionally seek advice on story ideas, the ever-evolving rules of writing, or the complexities of publishing and marketing. But when it comes to large writers clubs or associations, I don’t indulge.

Early in my journalistic career, I attended a few meetings of such clubs, and found that the majority of their members tended to do a lot more talking than writing. One thing that amazed me was that so many of the attendees of such meetings had never submitted their work to an editor, or even attempted to self-publish. Instead, they were content with complaining about how tough the publishing world was for new writers. I don’t dispute that fact; far from it. With the proliferation of free or low-cost electronic publishing, the competition is far greater than it has ever been. However, complaining about it and commiserating with others is of little or no value to anyone who aspires to become a professional writer. Occasionally, if a club or association brought in a guest speaker that I believed might be interesting or helpful, I would attend a meeting, but I did not have the extra time to stand around discussing the pains of writing or the idiocy of editors.

Informal writing courses, conducted outside a traditional college or university setting, are another thing I see as borderline when it comes to aiding a writer’s career. Before I became a professional journalist, I took a couple of these courses at local community colleges and found them to be little more than ego-support groups (something that is not all that bad for severely rejected writers in the early stages of their careers). The instructors can be anyone from a published author or journalist who happens to live nearby, to someone who has placed three articles in non-paying publications and is trying to supplement their income. In the latter case, you may be subjected to a lot of misinformation, as these ‘teachers’ no doubt get most of their material from conjecture, not experience. If they are gleaning information from books on how to write, those books are available to you as well, and a newcomer to the profession will have little practical experience to add.

If your goal is more social than professional, then by all means, join as many writers groups as you can find. If, on the other hand, your goal is to learn from true, critical evaluation, I recommend you stick mainly to small groups of writers whose intelligence you admire and whose opinions about your own writing are expressed honestly and without reservation.

On Writing Writer's Block

It may sound clichéd, but one of the ways I get over writer’s block is simply to write. I know you’re probably thinking this is a copout on a difficult subject, but bear with me for a moment while I explain.

If I’m stuck at some point in a novel, wondering how to write what happens next, I stew over it for a while, and if nothing comes of that, I sit down at the computer and start writing anything I can think of. This could be nonsensical gibberish, a description of the scene outside my window, or a news report that has angered me—anything so long as it has nothing whatsoever to do with the novel I’m working on. The process of writing without the pressure of having to create some clever part of a story can jump start things, and it almost always seems to work.

I also practice meditation, which sometimes helps me unblock. Meditation is not, as some mistakenly believe, a mystical or difficult thing to learn. A Google search will produce dozens, if not hundreds of methods to choose from, and I am certainly not qualified to teach the practice. But I can explain what I do, which is pretty simple.

I first try to find a quiet spot where I can sit comfortably without distraction, and I begin by concentrating on my breathing until it is deep and steady. Then I repeat a mantra over and over for about 20 minutes. My mind wanders, and whenever I realize this, I return to thinking about my mantra. I was told that a mantra could be any word or short phrase I chose, and mine is a sort of nonsensical combination of letters suggested by the friend who first instructed me. Repeating a mantra works kind of like when you are trying hard to remember something and can’t until you stop trying. Then, while you’re thinking about something else, the thing you were trying to remember suddenly pops into your mind, seemingly out of nowhere.

Another method I use is something I discovered accidentally. I was working on my second novel, when a good friend wrote to ask how things were going. I began my reply by admitting I was stuck, then went on to explain where I was in the story and where I had originally planned to go from there. After writing about 500 words of explanation, I realized I was actually fleshing out the plot and answering many of the questions that had stopped me in my tracks. That reply was far too long to bore my friend with, so I did some editing and sent him a brief synopsis of what I had written. But before I did this, I saved the longer version, and when I went back to work on the novel, I was able to pick up where I’d left off, following the roadmap I’d developed while composing the answer to my friend’s question.  

The most important thing about dealing with writer’s block is to not start thinking it will last forever, because that kind of despair will only serve to exacerbate the problem. I’ve known dozens of writers personally, and I have never run across a single one who came down with a terminal case of writer’s block. Nor have I ever heard of a successful or famous writer whose career ended for that reason.

As with hiccups, there are many different suggested remedies for overcoming writer’s block, some of which (like mine) might sound silly or bizarre to the average person. What works for one may not work for another, but eventually you will figure it out, especially if you understand that it won’t last forever. 

God Clarifies Don't Kill Rule

Today, responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other.

“Look, maybe I haven’t made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again,” said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the recent mass shooting. “Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don’t. And to be honest, I’m really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand.”

Worshipped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times over the centuries as a reason to kill in what He called “an unending cycle of violence.”

“I don’t care what religion or political persuasion you subscribe to, or who you think your enemies are, here it is one more time: No killing, in My name or anyone else’s, ever again.”

The press conference came as a surprise to humankind, as God rarely intervenes in earthly affairs. His decision to manifest on the material plane was motivated by a deep sense of shock, outrage, and sorrow He felt over the recent increase in hate and violence around the globe.

“I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you’d get it straight,” said God. “But somehow, it all gets twisted around and, next thing you know, somebody’s spouting off some nonsense about, ‘God says I have to kill this guy,’ or ‘God wants me to kill those kids,’ or ‘We’re God’s chosen race so anyone who doesn’t look like us must die.’ It’s not God’s will, all right? News flash: ‘God’s will’ equals ‘Don’t murder people!’”

Many of the worst violators claim their actions are justified by passages in the Bible, Torah, and Qur’an. God admits that can be a problem . . .

“To be honest,” God said, “I have to admit there’s some contradictory stuff in there, okay? I did My best to inspire them, but a lot of imperfect human agents have misinterpreted My message over the millennia. Frankly, much of the material that got in there is dogmatic, doctrinal crap. I turn My head for a second and all this stuff about homosexuality gets into Leviticus, and, suddenly, everybody thinks it’s God’s will to kill anyone in the LGBTQ community. It absolutely drives Me up the wall. And I don’t even believe in walls.”

God praised the overwhelming majority of His followers as “wonderful, pious people,” calling the perpetrators of the murders rare exceptions.

“The vast majority of people in this world reject the murderous actions of these radical extremists and racial supremacists, just like the vast majority of Christians in America are angered by all those gun-toting, bigoted right-wing nutcases.”

Growing increasingly wrathful, God continued: “Can’t you people see? What are you, morons? There are a ton of different cultures and religious traditions out there, but the basic message is always the same: Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Shintoism ... every religious belief system under the sun says you’re supposed to love your neighbors, folks! It’s not that hard a concept to grasp.

“Why would you think I’d want anything else? Humans don’t need religion or God as an excuse to kill each other ... you’ve been doing that without any help from Me since you were apes! The whole point of believing in God is to have a higher standard of behavior. How obvious can you get?

“I’m talking to all of you, here!” He continued, His voice rising to a shout. “Do you hear Me? I don’t want you to kill anybody. I’m against it, across the board. How many times do I have to say it? Don’t kill each other anymore—ever! I’m absolutely serious!”

Upon completing His outburst, God fell silent and stood quietly at the podium for several moments.

Then, witnesses reported, God’s shoulders began to shake, and He wept.

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